Why I Stopped Pushing Families — And Started Leading Them.

There’s a moment you don’t expect when you start doing this kind of work — the moment when being a “helper” or a “pusher” isn’t enough anymore.

For a long time, I pushed.

In senior living sales, I pushed families to make fast decisions.

In home care, I pushed social workers and discharge planners to give my agency a chance.

I pushed because I believed that moving people — fast — was what made the difference.

But lately, something in me has shifted.

Now, I’m learning that real impact doesn’t come from pushing.

It comes from guiding.

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Not long ago, I sat with a family whose situation was deeply unfair.

An aging couple, both facing serious health issues, caught in a system that had no good answers for them.

It made me angry — and honestly, it still does.

Angry that our care systems are so broken.

Angry that people who deserve dignity are reduced to scrambling for scraps of help.

But when I left that meeting, I realized something important:

I wasn’t riding an emotional high.

I wasn’t crushed with sadness either.

I was neutral.

Neutral because I wasn’t there to save the system.

Neutral because I wasn’t there to push the family.

I was there to guide them — through grief, through impossible choices, through whatever came next.

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Learning to guide instead of push hasn’t been easy.

It’s quieter.

It’s slower.

It’s less about winning, and more about standing still while the storm passes through — and still being there when it does.

But it’s the kind of work I believe in now.

Because families don’t need another person pushing them around.

They need someone steady.

Someone honest.