Why Aging in Place is the Problem
We’ve been told for years that “aging in place” is the gold standard. Who wouldn’t want to stay home forever, surrounded by familiar walls and memories? It sounds comforting. It sounds affordable. It sounds right.
But here’s the truth: aging in place has become more of a slogan than a solution. And it’s quietly hurting the very people it claims to help.
The Illusion of Independence
When families hear “aging in place,” they picture independence. But independence without support is really just isolation. Most homes aren’t built for long-term safety: stairs, bathrooms, and kitchens become daily hazards. Families patch things with grab bars and delivery services, but the bigger needs—social connection, oversight, consistency—don’t fit in a box from Amazon.
The Hidden Costs
“Aging in place” gets sold as cheaper. But anyone who’s navigated home care knows that’s rarely true. Private caregivers can cost more per month than assisted living. Add in renovations, medical equipment, and transportation gaps, and suddenly the “affordable” option is draining savings. Families don’t see the bill until they’re already in crisis.
The Policy Problem
Here in Maine, and across the country, the push for aging in place has become a convenient political talking point. It’s cheaper for the system if older adults stay home longer. But that’s because the system is offloading costs onto families. Instead of building strong, mid-tier options for long-term care, policymakers keep promoting home-based fixes that leave families stretched thin and older adults more vulnerable.
ADUs and Home Care Are Good Tools
Let’s be clear: the problem isn’t with the solutions themselves. Accessory Dwelling Units (ADUs) and home care can be excellent supports. They create flexibility, preserve independence, and keep families connected. The problem comes when we act like those are the only answers.
By limiting the conversation to “aging in place,” we shut down the broader conversation families desperately need: when is home no longer safe, affordable, or sustainable? What community-based or facility-based options should be in the mix?
The Reality Check
Aging well isn’t about staying in one place. It’s about staying in the right place—where safety, connection, and dignity can grow. For some, that may be home, with the right support. For many, though, it means moving to a setting where meals are cooked, help is close by, and community is alive and well.
And if “aging in place” is the problem, then the real discussion has to shift toward how families make decisions about care. That means asking the right questions, understanding trade-offs, and planning before a crisis hits.
What Needs to Change
We need to stop pretending that aging in place is a universal answer. Instead, we need:
Honest conversations about when home is no longer safe.
Policies that fund realistic options beyond “nursing home or nothing.”
A cultural shift away from shame—so families don’t feel like they’ve failed when a loved one needs more than the house can give.
Aging in place isn’t the goal. Aging with dignity is. Until we admit the difference, families will keep stumbling into crisis. It’s time we stop repeating slogans and start building solutions that actually work.
