When Reality Doesn’t Land: What Happens When You Wake Up in This Industry
My family said something to me recently—simple, steady, and grounding:
“You did your best. Let the rest go. Focus on your boys and the work.”
It wasn’t an out. It wasn’t dismissal. It was affirmation.
Permission to stop explaining myself to people who don’t want the truth.
Permission to stop carrying what had already taken too much out of me—and to start again.
Permission to root back into the work—because the work is what’s real.
If you’ve worked in senior care—assisted living, home care, discharge planning—you’ve probably been there too.
You saw something you weren’t supposed to.
You said something.
And suddenly, leadership didn’t care. They saw what you named, and dismissed it outright.
That’s the problem. Too often, leaders in this field would rather look at the system than at the family sitting right in front of them. Numbers, contracts, reimbursement rates, and politics become easier to focus on than the hard, human realities of loss, safety, and dignity. And when leaders choose the system lens over the family one, the people paying the price are never the ones at the top.
No wonder there’s a crisis. And part of the reason is harder to name: divisions have seeped so deeply into aging services that the care people receive is shaped by political battles instead of human need. That’s not okay.
This post is for the insiders—the ones who:
Stayed late to fix what leadership missed
Sat with the family no one else wanted to deal with
Tried to raise the flag when something didn’t feel right
If you’ve ever wondered why doing the right thing made things harder, I want you to hear this:
It’s not you.
This system doesn’t always reward truth. But that doesn’t mean you stop telling it.
Here’s what I’ve learned:
You don’t have to be loud to be right. You don’t even have to be polished. What matters is clarity, and clarity is rare in this field.
If you see something clearly, trust it. Hold onto the truth. It’s a gift.
And if you’re rebuilding after disappointment? Let your next move be for the people who actually matter—the families, the residents, the staff who still show up every day with a full heart.
You don’t need validation from the top. You need alignment from within.
You did your best. You’re still doing it. That’s the work—and it’s enough to change an industry. But remember: this implicates everyone—not in fault, but in consequence. When reality is ignored long enough, the whole field pays the price. The only way forward is together, through the strength to do what’s right.
And here’s the ask: don’t give away your judgment to leaders, factions, or systems. Think for yourself. Trust what you see. That’s where change begins.
At Maine Aging Partners, this is what guides us: doing the work with clarity, legitimacy, and purpose—because older adults and their families deserve nothing less.
