Five Conversations No One Wants to Have—But Every Family Needs To

If you love someone who’s aging—or you’re navigating those changes yourself—there’s one truth that’s hard to ignore:

Senior care decisions often come fast.
Too fast.

Most families are forced into these conversations in moments of stress: after a fall, during a hospital discharge, or when something no longer feels safe. These are high-stakes decisions, often made without enough information or time.

That’s why I believe we need to talk about senior care sooner—and more honestly.

Here are five conversations I encourage every family to have before a crisis hits. These are the kinds of questions I walk through with families every day at Maine Aging Partners. You don’t need to have every answer—but you do need to start asking.

1. What does aging well look like to you?

This is where every care conversation should begin.

Does aging well mean staying home as long as possible? Does it mean being close to family? Is it about safety, independence, privacy, or peace of mind?

There’s no single right answer. But having clarity around what matters most helps shape every decision that follows.

2. What kind of help feels acceptable—and what doesn’t?

Some people are comfortable with home care. Others prefer not to have “strangers” in the house. For some, receiving help with medication is no problem—but needing help bathing feels like too much.

These feelings are real, and they’re valid.
Naming them early allows you to plan with dignity at the center.

3. If something changed quickly, who should make decisions?

This isn’t just about paperwork—it’s about trust and preparation.

Do you have a health care proxy or power of attorney in place? Do loved ones know where the documents are? Have you had the kind of conversation where you’d feel confident advocating on someone else’s behalf?

If not, now is the time.

4. What are the financial realities we need to consider?

Many people assume Medicare will pay for assisted living. It won’t.
Some believe they’ll “just use Medicaid,” without understanding how complex that process can be.

Whether the plan involves long-term care insurance, home equity, family contributions, or something else—it’s essential to talk openly about what’s realistic.

5. When choices get hard, what matters most?

Is it a private room? A short drive to family? Access to nature? A reputation for excellent food?

These details may seem small—until they aren’t.
When care decisions get difficult, knowing your loved one’s priorities helps keep the focus where it belongs: on their quality of life.

A note from me:

At Maine Aging Partners, I work with families to have these conversations before the pressure is overwhelming. I offer guidance, support, and a space to think things through—without a sales pitch or outside agenda.

If you're ready to start the conversation—or you're already deep in it—I'm here to help.

Let’s talk.

Email me at kaitlyn@maineaging.com.